This is probably my most personal, diary-like blog post. I always thought I wouldn’t be one to do a post like this as when I started blogging, I wanted Boyinbreton.com to be a source for information only for style, interiors and grooming. However, as time has gone on I realised something; sharing is a good thing as it can help others in similar situations to me. We all seek help in different ways and it’s become more apparent that reaching out online is the most common thing to do than discuss issues with family or friends.
I started this blog out originally just to offer tips and advice on menswear fashion which over time developed into grooming and lifestyle too, so now I suppose I can add life mentor to the list too. Maybe…
Something my friends have always told me is that I am such a great listener and give such honest and considered advice. So, I hope that this blog post helps you to be brave, bite the bullet and make a change that you have been considering. Whether it’s a new job, a new relationship or even whether to book that holiday for yourself – we all need a friendly nudge in the right direction sometimes.
I’m leaving London. I just need to let that settle in for a moment… ‘What’s the big deal?’ You might be thinking. Well, to me, it’s an enormous change. I was born, raised and lived in the big ol’ city my entire life. That’s 29 years of familiarity, routine and knowledge behind me. 29 years of having anything and everything in my reach. I have never lived outside of the city. I’ve gone through the happiest, saddest and all of the in-between moments in London. Why the change?
My brother was the first to escape the rat race a few years back, moving down to Reading, followed by my parents’ who moved down to Sussex early last year. I look at them and they are so much happier, less stressed and enjoy being out of the fog of London. They seem more at ease about pretty much everything.
Over the past five years or so I have developed a serious love/hate relationship with the city that day by day has swung more towards ‘hate’ – which is an awful daily strain. I am not myself; I am anxious all the time, constantly clock watching, battling crowds of commuters and tourists! Have you ever been able to walk in a straight line down Oxford Street? I’m willing to bet you’ve tutted, rolled your eyes and power walked around a knuckle dragging tourist. To be quite honest, I’m worn out by it all. I don’t want to be spending thousands of pounds a year to commute to and from work, getting stressed by it all. I’m getting older and want a simpler life – and yes, I realise in that one sentence I just sounded like all of our parents!
So, leaving London and going to where? Well, I’m moving to Brighton – a place I fell in love with only a few years ago. If you’ve never been (and if you have, you’ll know what I mean), there’s a vibe to the city that is electric yet peaceful. There’s a mutual respect for each other (mostly) regardless of sexuality, race, religion etc. Brightonian’s seem so much more calm and at ease, which, I hope will have an influence on me.
I believe the quality of my life will be so much better down on the south coast. I’ve always wanted to live by the sea, my grandparents have lived by the sea for as long as I can remember and always loved being able to visit the beach, and now the opportunity and timing has allowed it to happen for me too.
I met somebody that for the first time in my life “get’s me” and I “get” him and I couldn’t be happier and more in love. We want the same things for our future and that includes living together outside of London. The apartment I was living was in the middle of being sold, so I genuinely think life was giving me the push that I needed to make that jump in waving goodbye to London and begin a new chapter in my life.
Escaping the city means becoming the new boy again – the prospect of the job hunt beckons. Let’s be honest, it isn’t an enjoyable experience is it? Putting yourself out there again, all eyes on you to succeed or fail. I’m not sure what I direction I should be pursuing as the pool of jobs to choose from in Brighton are considerably smaller than if I stayed in London. I have to find a job that pays me the same salary that I am on now and that seems quite the challenge, I’m not on an incredible salary as it is! In an ideal world I’d live and work in Brighton, however, I may have to roll up my sleeves and find a London-based job that will pay me the extra £5,000 a year that will afford me the travel. Deep breaths.
There’s an awful lot spinning around my head at the moment. To be honest, there always is, but right now I have some pretty enormous changes to prepare for. The decision to leave London has been neither easy or hard, well, the decision was easy but the organization of leaving has taken a good 3 months; packing my life into boxes, taking boxes to charity of unwanted possessions, and don’t get me started on the laborious task of cancelling TV contracts and utility bills.
My parents have always told me “Everything will work out in time”, and they are right. Things always have worked out. I’m the sort of person who sets a timeline and expects everything to happen within it, and I’m hesitantly learning that life just doesn’t work that way sometimes. I have to ‘go with the flow’ and do my damn best to guide my life the way I want it to go.
So, for the next couple of weeks I shall be in the process of unpacking boxes and furniture, painting, styling and getting familiar with our new home. Blog posts may be a little slower but I promise to keep you updated with how it’s all going on Instagram and maybe even a blog feature once we’re settled. In the meantime, please follow us on our Instagram account @StylingSussexSquare
Take a deep breath, plan accordingly and take that leap of faith. Whatever it is you’re looking to change in your life, you can do it and only you can make it happen. Don’t wait for it, go and make it happen. It may be the most nerve-racking thing you’ll do but the only way to conquer it is to embrace it head on. You’ll be fine. I promise.
Until then, peace and love! x